Transformers Writing Meme
by Tiara Light
Summary: About Sam Witwicky and the Cybertronians as they interact in a world that is changing. Xeno, Male/Non-gender Species, some have little plot.
1. Chapter 1

Meme Writing

By Tiara Light

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Put Ipod on shuffle and write until song stops, repeat for between five and twenty songs, I ended up with 25. Don't have an Ipod or anything similar so I used my favorite radio station. Not so easy because I don't always recognize what song is playing or the artist. I came across this idea done by several other authors on .

Chosen pairing: Sam/Mech

Warning: Xeno, Male/non-gender species.

They are supposed to be one shots but I realized about half way through they seemed to intertwine into a single plot even though they are not always chronological.

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1) Stairway to Heaven

Sam sat on top of one of the hangers watching the Autobots he had grown close to greet several newcomers. Their movements were oddly choreographic, almost like a ritual dance. The patterns forming around Optimus Prime expanding and contracting in a way that was oddly familiar to Sam.

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2) Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Sam was most unhappy to be kidnapped in broad daylight in the middle of the Autobot compound by Skids and Mudflap. Not just snatched and carried off but wrapped in sheets and trussed up like a deer. Prowl wasn't happy either when he unwrapped his 'birthday' present.

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3) Eye of the Tiger

Bumblebee and Sam just stared in shock as they were surrounded by Seekers.

"Bumblebee does that big guy have yellow optics?" Sam asks confused,

Bumblebee turns his attention to the largest white and red seeker momentarily. "A neutral, I did not know there were any left."

"Um, there are a couple with blue optics as well." Sam's confusion is increasing by the moment.

"Do not worry little ones, we only want a word with the human when he has learned what he can do for us, for the survival of our people." The biggest one murmurs. "Will you talk with us when your friends are able to explain the changes you are going through?"

"Er, I guess." Sam glances at Bumblebee's dashboard.

"Thank you."

With that the seekers were gone.

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4) Your Lifting Me Up

Sam laughs and whoops joyfully as adrenaline courses through his body. Bumblebee turns donuts and fishtails through loops and slaloms as the re-ensparked Jazz pops wheelies and other intricate stunts. All of them celebrating Jazz's return and the newly forming bond forming between the three of them and by extension the Autobot's already established bond mates. Bumblebee pulls into the lead again, guiding his friends to a special place he had found by accident when he had first landed.

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5) Didn't recognize this song. First word "Drive" part of bridge "Love makes you do stupid things"

It is a race for cover as a horrendous storm roils over the plains slowly catching up with Autobots racing for shelter along with the humans that had chosen to remain with them, instead of going with the majority of humans when they had moved into hidden bio-spheres. Bio-spheres which had become increasingly necessary, because despite stopping the Sun Harvester there had still been consequences. The arrival of the Autobots scientist and more medics had allowed for the invention of the hidden bio-spheres and the bio-tech re-breathers the Autobot allies used.

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6) Africa by Toto

Walking along the edges of the oasis marking the location of base they were currently building Sam wonders if any of this would have been different if he had helped when Optimus Prime had first asked. A large shape appears out of the darkening sand dunes as if Sam's thoughts had conjured him. Perhaps they had since their life forces where now irrevocably intertwined as brothers.

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7) One Way or Another by Blondie

Sam ran cursing his luck. Wanting desperately to know how the hell Barricade always managed to find him when he was out of contact with the Autobots. Especially now that the Con so obviously wasn't interested in killing him, but wanted something so much more unsettling. An attempt to kill him would be preferable.

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8) Kyrie Elesion by Mister, Mister

Another safe base, this one literally built within the Canadian Rockies. It was dark and cold on the balcony with only the stars providing light to the ancient rock.

A presence shifted in the shadows behind Sam. "Sideswipe."

"My twin lives, I can feel him within my spark."

Sam nods. "He completes you."

"True, but you have helped smooth the emptiness more than I can express."

"Your welcome Sides, as is your twin."

Sideswipe grins at the nickname that only Sam was allowed to use freely. "Thank you."

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9) Don't Stand So Close

His breath catches, Megatron is standing on the other side of the shield, seeming to stare straight at him despite knowing it concealed everything within. Sam tries to stop the thrill that goes through him as one massive clawed hand caresses the shield.

"My pet."

Sam shakes backing away, something in the War Lord has changed, besides his outward shell. "No."

"Do you like what you see, pet?" Megatron's voice is a deep dark rumble.

A groan escapes Sam, the power within him responding to the tone and the smooth visage Megatron has adopted. A truly gorgeous sculpture of living metal arranged purposefully. "Devil."

"Angel, only you can give us what we now desire." Megatron's hand now trails down his own frame, showing off.

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10) Hurt so Good

With weary eyes Sam looks out over a vast patchwork of fields, orchards, and wild habitats teeming with animals both wild and domesticate. Humans no longer ventured out of the city bio-spheres, they had something similar to space bridges to get from place to place now, which had become the crystal and gold cages. (The sever decrease in fertility and the dangers presented by thinning ozone layer and rogue Decepticons kept the human population lower than it had once been, allowing nature to repair itself and flourish. Those who had stayed outside had either died or been changed, by their own choice and hands. Sam was the only one that still looked as humans once were, unchanging and healthy when he should be old and ill. Some much lost in sorrow and pain, yet so much gained for the future, it was an odd duality.)

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11) She's got the look

Megatron was back - bearing gifts. Where he had found all the human artwork, luxury furniture some of it antique even before the domes, jewelry, precious metals, decorative stone, and decadent fabrics. Sam sighs, irritated that despite the shields blocking visual or physical evidence of his presence Megatron still found him.

"No insects were harmed in the collection of the trinkets." Megatron boasts smugly. "Or humans."

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12) Here Comes the Night

Laughter fills the air as children, the precious few born to the NEST descendants, race between their parents and the gentle lapping waves as a bonfire leaps as dances in the darkening dusk. Sam is sprawled out across Jazz's hood with Bee hovering above him.

"Tonight?"

Sam nods softly in response, enjoying the harmonizing vibrations the two Autobots are putting out.

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13) No Matter Where You Go

"Gah, would you quit." Sam wiggles away from the exploring hands. "Barricade? What the pit are you doing?"

"You look tasty."

"That just sounds wrong coming from something that can't even consume organic material." Sam twitches as Barricade uses his claws to draw slow grooves in the ground on either side of him.

"But still oh so true, especially when you are spread out on display like this." Barricade lowers his head until the only thing Sam can see is his optics. "You smell good to."

Sam groans, torn between mortification and reluctantly flattered. "I just want to know why?"

Barricade uses extreme delicacy to touch Sam's chest. "You now carry the ability to germinate a new spark if placed within a mature spark with a correspondingly strong energy reserve."

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14) Just Take Me Home

Sam growls at the circle of Cons and the clearly amused Barricade who is lounging off to one side. "Has it ever occurred to you glitches that you of each will have to spend several years exclusively carrying and caring for a sparkling if I do what you want? Feeding, teaching, guarding, and nurturing its spark until it can survive on its own? How are you going to get enough energy for yourself as well as the sparkling, you wont be able fight or roam around like you are used to doing." Sam points at each of the leaders of the Constructicons, Stunticons, and Combaticons. "Choose one of your group to be the carrier, I would suggest the calmest, the rest of your group will look after them and the sparkling until it is in its first mature frame."

"Can't we put it in a mature frame once it is sparked?" Octane mutters from the back earning glares from all the 'Cons.

"Not unless you are trying to kill the 'young' spark, they have to mature through the originally intended stages so they don't suffer the same type of damage some of you have."

"Oh."

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15) Money

"You are courting me." Sam accuses Megatron having been caught in the open with only Trailblazer's force field stopping an all out kidnapping. "Which is ill advised since that implies something exclusive, you do not share well, and I doubt you wish to personally spark carry several thousand new sparks."

"I will provide carriers, and assure you and they are cared for. Worshiped even, as is your right." Megatron circles the force field tapping it occasionally to test its strength.

"I am already well cared for, though I am sincerely flattered by your offer and gifts." Sam shifts nervously at the sideways glance the Autobots gives him. "As for carriers, well several of your troops are already aware that they can approach me." Sam blushes deep red.

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16) Don't Cha by Pussycat Dolls

"Slag it all Barricade, would you stop snatching me whenever I try to have some time to myself." Sam snaps at the grinning Con.

"Not until I feel you pressed within my spark convulsing in pleasure." Barricade leers at Sam.

"You -" Sam ducks out of Barricades grasp and backs away. "Your not actually old enough to support a new spark."

"I know." Barricade pounces on Sam his spark chamber sliding open. "I want to feel you, to know you."

Sam sinks to the ground trying to slide out from under Barricade only to find his way blocked by the 'Cons armor. "You want feel just me, but them as well."

"Even better, I always did think the little yellow bug had a fine aft." Barricade's purr shakes Sam to his bones.

"Pervert."

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17) Private Eyes

Their private drive through the flowering desert after the spring rains is interrupted by the appearance by over a dozen Seekers. Jazz transforms quickly hoping to create an opening for Bumblebee to escape. Hands caressing him, silently communicating that their company isn't looking for a fight, effectively sidetrack him and he cant suppress a tremble. Jazz whirls at a choked purr from Bumblebee who is receiving much the same trearment, and can only stare in confusion as the Seekers begin dropping their outer armor leaving them in the semi-elastic inner amour skin that was develop as an extension of the facial derma plates. The inner skin protects gears and wiring from grit and chemicals while still allowing trusted companions to stimulate wiring, gears, and sensory nodes.

Sam steps out of Bumblebee. "I see you figured out best to make sure I was receptive to your proposal." He sways and moans as one of the Seekers gets bold enough to slide a digit into one of Bumblebee's wheel wells. "How many?"

Starscream motions to four others who are the focus of the most attention from the other Seekers. "Trines were always meant to support the rearing of sparklings, one to be the main nurture, one the be the provider, and one to be the defender."

Sam stares at Starscream. "You think I habe the energy reserves to spark four Seekers at one time, I am flatered, but not bloody likely."

"Five SparkSire, and I think I am more than capable of bringing you and yours more than just five measly overloads." Starscream motions to a stack of crates Sam and his mates had not noticed before. "We brought enough supplies for several days, if you or the ground pounders can't keep up."

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18) Gotta Have Faith

Sam hates getting hurt and ending up in Med-Bay with Rachet grumbling and growling about constantly having to fix someone or the other. He knew that the scarier Ratchet was the more worried he was for his patients, the more they meant to him. It wasn't about his pride as a medic or any gratitude his patients might show, it was about his spark the depth and strength of which was unfathomable. Ratchet was sparked to be a doctor, it didn't matter what he might have done once upon a time before the war on Cybertron, he loved his patients and his spark reached out to each and every one of them while he worked to heal them. Sam can only watch in awe as Ratchet heals each break, dent, and scratch with the same devotion he would if it were his own mate under his care.

When it is Sam's turn to be checked over he can't help allowing himself a moment of weakness to brush his lips across the fingers that are helping him and whisper to Ratchet of his thanks and faith.

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19) Your Still the Same

This time Barricade brought a friend,

"Ladiesman217." Barricade's tone is formal.

"Barricade, who is your friend." Sam grudgingly allowed Barricade's odd attachment to him but he was not going to allow some one else to witness the oddity.

"Swindle." The answer is short and clipped.

Sam folds his arms glaring. "I have heard of him. He was not present when his team came to me." Sam looks coldly at the rogue. "What do you want?"

"Samples, in exchange for your life." Swindle frowns at both at what had been said about his team and the unimpressed look the threat garners.

"How are you going to get a sample from spark to spark contact?" Sam states the chill of his voice becoming more evident. "Plus Primus himself decides if the recipient is capable of nurturing a sparkling before full spark germination occurs, I will have no part in supplanting his place with the race he created."

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20) Happy Trails

Sam is both elated and sad when the Autobot convoy splits up to run checks on all the safe bases that they had set up so far. The split up was arranged not only to speed up the process but also to make them harder targets to locate and so they couldn't be followed to each and every base. It was also to let Sam relax some since there had been another wave of mechs to arrive on Earth, a few of which had been a bit to-o fascinated with Sam for anyone's comfort on top of Megatron's increasingly frequent visits. To achieve the last part of the goal he would be travelling with a group of mechs that he trusted but didn't interact with on a regular basis. Of the group he had only dealt with Prowl enough to have formed a friendship and that was only because they shared a mate. Prowl had been spark bonded to Jazz long before Sam was born or had formed a bond with the Special Ops commander in order to call his spark back to his body. None of those involved in the bond objected, though Jazz had been hinting at trying to convince Prowl to 'loosen up'.

21) Shaking by Eddy Money

Sam blushed furiously, despite having two full-time Autobot mates and a handful of energy sharing companions that both Bumblebee and Jazz approved of which included a persistent pervy 'Con, he wasn't an exhibitionist. The group he was currently with were virtually strangers, to be stripping his clothes off to bathe, thanks to an unfortunate encounter with a skunk, knowing that they were all watching him was - intense. He knew that Prowl received some back wash from his own bond with Jazz every time Sam was with Jazz, the others though not fixated where still curious. Sam just knew his various bonds liked to talk or in some individual's cases boast about him and now these six seemed all to happy to take the chance to ogle him.

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22) She's Not There by The Zombies

Mikaela had walked out, just told him to 'go screw your car already'. Kissed him on the cheek and told him he was the best friend a girl could ask for, but- Bumblebee and he were not like 'THAT'. And then she was gone and Bumblebee was carrying him to somewhere that he could break down in private, without an audience. Sam appreciated it, he just wished Mikaela had done the same instead of in front of the whole crew.

A dim blue light causes Sam to look around. "Where are we Bumblebee."

"Paying our respects." Bumblebee sets him down on a ledge that surrounds an eerily quiet berth.

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23) Too Shy by Kajagoogoo

"Prowl, have you figured out how they keep finding me?" Sam asks one day while curled up on a bean bag placed on one corner of Prowl's desk. "We now know how Barricade has been doing it but not Megatron, Starscream, or the combiners for that matter."

"I have a theory for your repeat offenders, but the combiners disturb me. I suppose Barricade could have told them." Prowl answers while not looking up from his paperwork.

"If you are disturbed think how I feel." Sam snorts. "I've learned to enjoy Barricade's rather affectionate sneak attacks, I can deal with Starscream since he was actually trying to help his race, but Megatron just absolutely creeps me out."

"Yet you are unharmed." Prowl states.

"Would you want to be the one that has Megatron panting at your heels." Sam give Prowl a long hard stare even if the Autobot still hasn't looked up.

"No." Prowl finally glance at him to gauge how frazzled Sam still is from the latest run in with Grimlock, 'Me Grimlock you mate make feel good.' "Ratchet and Wheeljack are actually downloading full etiquette data procedure packets to follow when interacting with you to the Dinobots and everyone else who ends up in med-bay for anything that isn't critical."

Sam snorts. "Start making that a routine for any 'Cons we catch as well, a full medical checkup with updated behavioral etiquette when courting SparkSire's favor."

"We will find out how they are tracking you." Prowl says firmly. "I will approach Red Alert about any suggestions he might have when his shift ends tomorrow."

"Warn Ratchet of the impending melt down before you go." Sam smiles at the snerk Prowl makes. "Because if Red glitches as bad as I think he will, do not blame me if it is hatchets that Ratchet throws at you instead of a wrench."

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24) Lean On Me

Sam sighs contentedly, the breeze wafts across his bare skin a cool caress balancing the prickly heat of the sun as he drifts in pleasant memories both his own and his companions. He trails one hand across the living metal beneath him in absent patterns.

"Samuel?" The Optimus' is soft and curious.

"Yes, Optimus." Sam tuns his head so that his ear is pressed to the metal roof.

"Do you know the translation for any of those symbols?" Optimus' question seems more amused than anything else.

"They're Cybertronian aren't they?" Sam stills instantly and can feel himself tensing back up.

"Undeniably, very complimentary as well." Optimus responds gently.

"Oh?" Sam breathes deeply and lets go of his old fears, he already knows he isn't physically human anymore, its kind of hard to miss when you still look twenty-one on you two hundredth birthday.

"Yes. There was peace, warmth, contentment, friendship, companion, brother, joy, and love. Though when I asked the last one translated as slag." Optimus was definitely amused.

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25) She's Got the Look

Sam stare at the group of 'Bots in front of him incredulously. "You want me to judge which one of you is the prettiest?"

The mechs nods while off to the side Sunstreaker snorts.

"Well at least you didn't ask who was the most charming." Sam grumbles.

Sunstreaker growls. "Squishy."

"And with an expression like that he certainly loses any chance of beating Prime out the title of prettiest." Sam muses out loud.

"So, under that battle mask?" Tracks sulks.

"Oh yeah, he is definitely a looker." Sam grins amused by both Tracks attitude and the fact that his 'brother' tended to hide behind his mask around the majority of the troops he hadn't interacted with in megavorns.

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I think I may separate these out into individual chapters so I can expound on the underlying plot. Question for you my readers, should I put them in chronological order?

P.S. They sort of interconnect with another wild hare of a plot bunny so I may include it as well.


	2. meme omake

Meme Writing

By Tiara Light

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Chosen pairing: Sam/Ironhide

Warning: None

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters, except the twisted oddly colored plot bunnies, and I make no money from the fan fiction.

AN: I am not familiar enough with the transformers' accents to write them properly, so I didn't, better to write straight out then butcher an accent or leave your readers unable to decipher the accent.

This wasn't included in my original set for three reasons. 1) I had no clue what the song was or who the singer was. 2) I completely forgot to write down any of the lyrics so I could look it up. 3) I had less than ten words written before the song changed, and they made no sense. So I dropped it, but going back and rereading it several times led me to this.

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Ironhide growls to himself, he hates guard duty for the times Bumblebee could not watch over the human. Not that he minded Sam, but the rest of the squishy things irritate him. His dark thoughts brought on by boredom and strict orders not to shoot anything that didn't shoot at him or Sam first lighten when he notices the jerk jocks drone of a truck innocently parked nearby. A vicious smirk lights up his processors, the punk would learn not to make comments about things he didn't have enough brain cells to comprehend or to bully one of his humans. He might not be known as a prankster but after being exposed to several for many human generations one could not help but pick up a few things.

Taking his time Ironhide figures out how to transform just enough so that he can use his servos to pull the other truck behind a couple of maintenance buildings where he can work without being spotted. With the same patient precise diligence he uses to maintain his guns Ironhide works on altering Trent's truck to reflect one of Annebelle's favorite movies, even using some of the prop she had gifted him with while looking at him with bright watery eyes.

When he returns the truck to its usual spot it has a Scotty dog tail welded to it's tailgate careful positioned so it does not protrude in back, and matching ears welded to it's roof. The hood has a red dog collar painted on it with an oversized metal disk welded to the grill, Toto embossed on it clearly. The inside of the truck is now covered neatly in blue gingham and white ric-rack. The 'accessories' include: a wicker picnic basket for a seat console, a stuffed flying monkey hanging from the rearview mirror, ruby slipper foot pedals, yellow brick road window cling across the front windows tinted sunshield area, a melted witch Halloween prop in the bed, and a pretty star with ribbons to make the antenna look like Glinda's magic wand.

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After school Sam can only stare at Ironhide in irritation, every time he parks him at the back of the lot in the shade like he does for Bumblebee the weapons specialist always ends right in front of the doors waiting for him. Sam doesn't even want to guess how he accomplishes it.

"Good afternoon Sam." Ironhide says once the young man is seated and the door is closed.

Sam glances at the dashboard suspiciously. "You sound way to happy, what did you do?"

"I didn't leave the premises nor did I blow up or shoot anything if that is what you are implying." Ironhide drives slowly by Trent's truck.

"Oh my, holy mother of, hell." Sam gasps out in stunned disbelief.

Sam sees Trent strut out of the school with his usual gaggle of sycophants and sinks down in the seat. "He is going to blame me for this especially if he sees me near his precious."

Ironhide resumes a normal speed feeling a bit guilty. "I thought it was funny."

"Oh it is, but when you pull off a successful prank you should never hang around to see the results. At least not close enough to be visually linked to it even in passing." Sam keeps his smile and laughter under control until they are safely away from the school

"I'll have to remember that for next time." Ironhide says smugly enjoying the way Sam laughs.

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	3. Stairway to Heaven official chap 1

Meme Writing

By Tiara Light

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Chosen pairing: NA

Setting: Bayverse G1 fusion (basically bay's universe and G1 characters with an amalgam of looks) after Transformers movies 1 & 2. The third was in filming when I wrote these so these stories will not be compliant to it or any future movies.

Warning: Xeno, Male/non-gender species.

Disclaimer: I own nothing here within except the twisted oddly colored plot bunnies, and I make no money from the fan fiction.

[+] Indicates where added material begins.

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1) Stairway to Heaven

Sam sat on top of one of the hangers watching the Autobots he had grown close to greet several newcomers. Their movements were oddly choreographic, almost like a ritual dance. The patterns forming around Optimus Prime expanding and contracting in a way that was oddly familiar to Sam. [+]

Each time he watches this ritual the pattern becomes clearer. Optimus Prime at the center, an unmoving anchor shifting only his upper body to acknowledge those mechs who paused in front of him. The elder 'Bots of the original team and those who arrived later who were officers forming a slowly moving perimeter around their leader. Bumblebee, Arcee, and the smarter twin weaving through the perimeter and outward, in the opposite direction, to guide the various new 'Bots around the NEST compound so they could learn about their allies and their new planet. There was a jarring gap in the pattern where Sam was sure Jazz was supposed to be. The handful of previously arrived 'Bots that were stationed at NEST formed clusters around the perimeter, that the newly arrived join after their initial tour, these clusters almost look geometric or like symbols.

Sam jerks into full awareness as he finally recognizes the patterns are Cybertronian glyphs that the mechs below are seemingly following unconsciously. He doesn't know what they mean but they stir an odd flutter deep within his being, terrifyingly familiar but different and deeper than any of the other occurrences that now marked him as different. Something must have registered with his friends, because both Bumblebee and Ratchet separate from the pattern heading in his direction. Several of the other mechs look towards him as well; even Optimus turns to watch what is happening, concern evident in all of their postures. Sam blushes under the scrutiny, feeling guilty for interrupting something so important and beautiful.

Bumblebee reaches Sam first, scooping him up and holding him protectively to his chest while glaring at Rachet.

"Bumblebee." Ratchet says warningly. "We are all fond of Sam, you know this, none of us would do anything to cause him pain. I am quite aware of the fluctuating power signals he produces; they have been increasingly hard to miss. We had hoped that Sam would be able to complete his college education on campus before they became disruptive. Now you WILL allow me to escort Sam to Med-Bay either without a fuss so you can come with us with, and promise not to interfere, or you will be confined to quarters for insubordination."

* I'll be there - * Bumblebee plays over the radio as he looks at Sam.

Sam grits his teeth in frustration. "Ratchet will you just trust me when I say it will keep until you're finished greeting the new arrivals."

Ratchet gives Sam a long considering look. "Yes I believe you, but I am rather board with just shuffling around looking pretty so you are the perfect excuse for me to make good an escape. Believe me if Prime could find an equally believable alibi he wouldn't be out there either."

Sam huffs. "What do the glyphs worked into the greeting pattern mean?"

Ratchet clips the corner of one hanger with his shoulder when he spins around to stare at Sam. "Impossible."

"Hey, me being alive is impossible." Sam pats Bumblebee's face when the 'Bot pulls him close warbling in distress. "Sorry Bumblebee, I didn't mean it that way. I am alive and happy, it's just between the All-spark lighting up my world and the slag the matrix pulled, I am starting to rethink my definition of impossible."

"That does it, I am giving you a full health check." Ratchet growls. "No more putting it off, or pretending nothing is wrong. And when I say full I mean every test I and the science mecha can give you without harm."

Sam gapes at him. "But I AM Fine. Just because I can tell the difference between a Cybertronian glyph from an Earth one doesn't mean there is a problem."

"I will be the judge of that." Ratchet gets a firm grip on one of Bumblebee's shoulders. "Med-Bay, Now."

Sam and Bumblebee look at each other. "Busted."

Ratchet stalks towards his Med-bay pulling Bumblebee along with him. "Busted implies you were expecting to be caught."

"Not really." Sam shrugs at the look Ratchet gives him. "I just really dislike being poked, prodded, and asked repetitive questions for hours on end. I had to put up with that from my fellow humans twice now already. They didn't find anything and I certainly wasn't going to suddenly change my answers just because they asked the same question multiple times."

"They either didn't trust your answers to be complete and honest or they were hoping that going over the information more than once would help you remember more." Ratchet grumbles at the thought of the humans interfering with what he felt was his territory.

"They would be right." Sam winces at the glare Rachet aims at him. "Do you really want me to try to explain the Dynasty of Primes to a bunch of humans who have little or no experience with anything they can't quantify scientifically?"

"They do not need to know that." Ratchet relaxes his stance a little.

"Precisely, the best we could hope for would be me winding up like me great grandfather - in and insane asylum or something far worse - dissected like the experiments of Sector 7 were." Sam looks nauseous. "No thanks."

"I find myself beginning to agree with the Decepticon viewpoint when dealing with some humans." Ratchet releases Bumblebee once they arrive at the workstation he had specifically adapted for human patients. "Strip and onto the bed."

"What? Hey, no, that's so not cool dude." Sam clings to Bumblebee's hand.

"No need to be shy, it is not like I will be interested in staring at your pink flesh." Ratchet comments in an offhand manner.

"Oh really, that's not what Bumblebee told me." Sam smirks at Ratchet. "The way he explained it Cybertronians connect our clothes with their armor and you don't hear me asking to stare at your protoform. Ironhide further informed me that due to long-term exposure to a wide variety of other species Cybertronians do not have species boundaries when admiring other races' forms. In fact everyone who invited themselves into the conversation agreed that certain 'bots like the differences and are always extremely curious."

"Bumblebee." Ratchet growls.

*Hang on Sloopy, hang on -* "I did not tell him that, just about the clothing and protoforms." Bumblebee quickly defends himself.

"Oh really, then who did?" Ratchet looks Bumblebee directly in the optics.

"I think it was Optimus who started the explantion." Sam puts in to rescue his friend from Ratchet's scrutiny. "Though Ironhide is the one who ratted out a whole list of mechs that fit that description."

"Did the rusty aft name himself in that list." Ratchet glares in the direction of the rest of the Autobots.

"He said he didn't mind the idea." Sam shrugs grinning. "While I'm not a phobic or anything, I am not ready to even think in those terms." He snorts. "I haven't even gotten comfortable with myself or girls yet."

"I still would prefer my scans to be as clear of much extraneous material as possible." Ratchet finally settles into a completely professional stance.

Sam sighs and releases his strangle hold on Bumblebee's finger. "Oh alright if you insist, but just remember I am on good terms with the base pranksters."

"Is that supposed to mean something to me, I assure you I am quite capable of avoiding their sparkling attempts at humor." Ratchet responds glaring at the innocent smile on Sam's face.

"That is what Ironhide said when he embarrassed me with his rather elaborate and colorful description of interspecies relations." Sam says as he slowly and methodically removes his clothing, folding up each article as he goes.

"Now you are just teasing me." Ratchet accuses.

Sam smiles at the medic. "Sorry Ratchet but it is so rare that us humans get a chance to have any advantage over our big smart Cybertronian friends that I didn't even try to resist the temptation."

"Of course you didn't." Ratchet gently pokes at Sam with one digit.

Sam steps back and ends up sitting down abruptly on the human exam table. "Hey watch where you point that thing."

Ratchet leans down eyeball to optic with Sam. "Hold very still or we will do this the army way."

Sam holds as still as he can until Ratchet is finished with his scan. "Oh, you're so big, strong, and forceful." He flutters his eyes exaggeratedly.

Ratchet vents in amused exasperation. "Out, I need peace to study the results. Be back here tomorrow after you eat for your lesson, I will be scanning you before every lesson so we can see if there is a pattern to your energy readings."

Sam groans. "Yes Ratchet."

Sam scrambles back into his clothes. He and Bumblebee beat a hasty retreat from the Med-bay while Ratchet is muttering from behind the cubicle workstation that he calls his office.

- End Chapter 1 -

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	4. 1st and 2nd Meetings official chap 2

Transformers Meme  
The Story that Grew from It

By: Tiara Light

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Chosen pairing: Sam/Barricade

Setting: Bayverse G1 fusion (basically bay's universe and G1 characters with an amalgam of looks) after Transformers movies 1 & 2. The third was in filming

when I wrote these so these stories will not necessarily be compliant to it or any future movies. Nor have I read the novelization.

Warning: Xeno, Male/non-gender species.

Disclaimer: I own nothing here within except the twisted oddly colored plot bunnies, and I make no money from the fan fiction. And my sincerest apologies for my horrible procrastination about typing, life really has not been terribly nice lately and I truly thought I had posted something in the last year, oops.

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Chap 2: First and Second Meetings

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Friday 2 Weeks Later

College Campus

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At the farthest circuit of the track Sam realizes Bumblebee can't see him and there is a good chance he isn't monitoring him very closely while schoolmates surround him. The realization comes when he is snatched behind the bleachers by an iron grip and finds himself face down spread-eagled across a hot black hood, a very familiar hood despite it no longer sporting police markings.

"Barricade," Sam tries not to show any fear, "what do you want?"

"So the Autobots haven't figured it out yet, interesting." Barricade's holoform looms over Sam's back. "Or they haven't told you. When you know, I'll be waiting, and I'll be nearby any time you want to 'play'." One hot hand slides up his inner thigh just before the holoform vanishes with a chilling laugh and the mustang rev its engines.

Sam scrambles off Barricade barely functional from shock. Barricade drives off just before the fitness coach appears around the end of the bleachers.

"Mr. Witwicky?" The coach calls in a firm voice taking in the pale shaky countenance of his student.

"Sir?" Sam turns toward the man.

"What precisely are you doing back here?" The coach remains stern even as he decides there is something wrong beyond laziness or faking it.

Sam swallows a hysterical laugh as he babbles the first excuse that comes to mind. "Um, I think I got a bit over heated and felt shaky so I thought the shade would help me cool down."

"Well at least you stopped to rest in a shady spot instead of pushing until you collapsed, I suppose that is something." The coach guides Sam back to the field with a steady hand on his elbow bundling him into a maintenance cart along with a couple other students. "Next time take it a bit slower and finish the circuit, I'll be far more impressed."

Sam nods dazedly, his mind caught in replaying the brief encounter.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Luckily Phys-Ed is Sam's final class of the day and week. He is able to fumble through a shower, dressing, and collecting everything he needs for the weekend (fortunately already packed) at the NEST base under Ratchet's tender mercies. Maybe whatever caused Ratchet to be so insistent about regular testing was what Barricade was referring to. After the shower Sam rushes to grab his duffel bag of clothes and necessities, a backpack with his computer and its peripheries, a small ice chest, and a rolling suitcase with his books and school supplies. Leo teases Sam about the luggage he is taking but it falls flat due to Sam not hearing anything beyond the pounding of his heart as he worries over the encounter with Barricade.

When he gets outside Bumblebee is almost bouncing on his shocks with nervous energy both from the excitement of more new arrivals and sensing there is something wrong with Sam.

"Settle down Bumblebee, Boss Bot said no more speeding." Bumblebee's cheerful demeanor calms Sam.

~ I'm so excited, I just can't hide it. ~

"Yeah I had noticed, what is so special about this group that has you bouncing around like a hyper active puppy?"

Bumblebee peals out of the parking lot so fast that if he had been a normal car there would be a strip of rubber in his wake. ~ You've got a friend in me ~

"So at least one of these new arrivals is a close friend, instead of old bots that look out for the youngling first type of friends." Sam jibes in amusement.

Bumblebee plays a clip from a game show of clapping and chipper sound effects that mean someone got the right answer.

Sam slumps a little. "That's great Bee, I just wish I could tell Miles."

Bumblebee calms down some at the wistful sound in Sam's voice.

"I mean we have been friends since almost before we could walk. And he so loves alien theories, giant robots, and just all that techno geek stuff." Sam soothes a hand over the Autobot symbol on Bumblebee's steering wheel. "I miss him, even if I don't get to see him that often now, not being able to share such an important part of my life with him hurts."

~ Beam me up Scotty. ~  
~ Ar, Captain we appear to have a stowaway. ~

"That might have worked better while I still lived at home and he had access to you." Sam pauses. "Would the rest even believe you didn't know he was inside you?"

Bumblebee remains quiet for a minute.

~ Seven little girls sittin' in the backseat ~  
~ Good night sweetheart it is time to go. ~

"He went to sleep in your backseat and we forgot he was there. That might have worked, but we still aren't anywhere near him, so there would be no reason for - him," Sam stares as Bumblebee slows down, "to be inside you." The window rolls down. "Miles what the hell buddy, you shouldn't be out here hitch hiking."

"Sam!" Miles yelps dropping the sign he had been holding up and then tripping over his suitcase.

Sam winces and scrambles out of the car to help Miles up. "Are you okay man."

Miles groans. "Yeah, I guess. I'm surprised you stopped for me."

"Ouch, I guess I deserved that but I am in college now Miles and I have sent you e-mails every week." Sam sets the suitcase in the trunk. "I wouldn't see my parents or my girlfriend at all if it wasn't for long holidays and web chats."

"Well sorry, but I got a stinking job that didn't pay enough for me to buy a new computer when the talking heads stopped supporting my OS version." Miles folds his arms grumpily.

Sam sighs. "Miles I got lucky with the car, and the girl, and hell just surviving Mission city and the cuckoo terrorist that plastered my face all over the bloody world. I still get people looking at me funny, or worse calling the cops. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't give up on the new friends I've met because of it but I can never be normal again. Do you think you could handle that, the death threats and secrecy, be honest with yourself about this. There might be a way to share what is going on with you but you have to be on-board or there will be serious consequences, really big ones. I have earned a lot of trust with those who have accepted me into their family and that is not an easy thing to do, but that doesn't mean I don't miss my first friend. I had to keep stopping myself from calling you up or popping over to your house to talk about all the junk going on, nothing is the same without you around to share it."

Miles makes a sour face. "Bro you have been hanging around girls way to much, you are spouting a bunch of emotional stuff, ew."

Sam snorts. "Yeah it's creepy, but circumstance as they are I've gotten used to explaining things so they can understand."

"They?" Miles glances at Sam sidelong. "They must be pretty good friends if you would leave me out."

"They have a lot to lose if someone betrays them." Sam answers quietly.

"And you still want me as your friend?"

"Miles you're my brother and you have never turned your back on me, maybe ignored me when I did something stupid and got angry but that's just normal. Hey I've been a lousy friend lately, if we had thought of this sooner you could have been in on all the fun with the assassin the terrorist sent after me. That was one scary piece of work."

"I'm not sure if I should complain about you having all the fun or run screaming for safety." Miles looks at Sam who is stroking the symbol on steering wheel again then stares out the window for awhile. "This isn't where you go crazy like your great-grand-father, right?"

"Turns out great-grand-dad wasn't actually crazy, just - overwhelmed by something he shouldn't have seen." Sam shrugs and pulls into the parking lot of a small roadside diner he had made a habit of stopping at every time he passed. "They have the absolute best comfort food you have ever tasted here, and its good for you too. Are you in or out Miles? Either way it means a free meal and a ride home."

"Is there anything you can tell me, I don't like deciding without any facts." Miles twitches when the door opens without him touching it. "You know this model is a production car now and they do not have automatic doors."

"Well you have met a couple of my new friends, one of them quite a bit." Sam says impishly. "He's cool, and they fulfill the requirements of some of your favorite coolest things you wished existed rants."

"My what?" Miles looks at Sam oddly.

"You know, when you used to start waxing eloquent about all those things that would make life so much more zonkin' cool." Sam leads the way into the diner and waves cheerfully to the burly man behind the cash register.

Miles continues to just stare at Sam until they are seated with a pinch to their cheeks and a menu. "That's not possible."

"It is." Sam says levelly.

"Prove it." Miles fires back.

"Not in public Miles." Sam blushes when hears how that sounded. "I mean we need a lot of open space to accomplish a proper demonstration."

Miles snickers at Sam's flustered look. "You're still such a goof."

Sam grins easily. "Well yeah, you don't change a good thing. Besides who uses climbing a tree as an excuse for crashing a party?"

"Urg don't remind me. Do your new friends know about your weirdness?" Miles finally starts to peruse the menu. "Oh wow they have lots of stuff that looks good."

"Yeah, they know and they accept me just the way I am." Sam places his menu on the table and tosses several pennies onto it to decide what to have. "The good and bad news is all the food it as good as it sounds."

"Er," Miles looks at the prices then glances at Sam, "I can't, I mean I have some snacks in the suitcase."

Sam just shrugs nervously. "Don't worry about it, just don't binge. I can cover a meat, two veggies, a dessert, and a drink."

"'Kay." Miles dithers over the menu until the waitress comes over with some water and then comes back with sweet tea for both of them.

Sam smiles at her. "I will have the medium size rack ribs medium-rare, a small corn on the cob, stir fry snow peas, and a side order of tortillas. And for dessert I would like the triple death by chocolate sundae."

Miles smiles sheepishly while still dithering. "It all looks so good."

"Hon, just order what you are comfortable with. Next time around you can try something else. Besides this cutie will probably let you try his if you ask nice. He always does with the posse that sometimes comes through with him." The waitress pats his hand gently.

"Um, I'll have the deluxe hamburger, potato planks, and the buttered green beans." Miles glances at both of them. "And the honey glazed fruit shortcake."

"They make the burgers the old fashioned way, nothing pre-cooked or flash frozen here." Sam relaxes back into the bench seat.

"Quite right, now hon how do you want your burger cooked?" The waitress asks Miles.

"Oh, well done please, but not black. Thanks." Miles tenses then relaxes at the wink she throws his way before she leaves. "So your 'posse'? What is her name any way, she wasn't wearing a name tag."

Sam hangs his head shaking it. "They don't, figure if you want to know you'll ask, her name is Ray and she never uses any ones name, its always a nick name. I'm cutie, Leo my room mate it smoochie."

Sam joins Miles laughter. "Smoochie?"

"Yeah, he always tries to smooth talk the waitresses while mooching off every one else. Will is baybee, yes pronounced just that way to. Epps is stud, Simmons," Sum shudders, "is Muffin. Glen is cookie, it should be cookie monster with the way he is addicted to sweets. Mikaela is sugar, Maggie is babe, and Sarah is lady. And Will and Sarah's little girl Annabelle is princess. Those are the only ones that have been here more than once with me. I guess she could tell you would be around a lot. It is usually just Will, Epps or Leo. Leo only got drug into it because he was there when the assassin tried to off me, other wise he would be totally out because he is just a bit more odd than even you can be when he goes off on techno geek stuff and conspiracy theories."

"That's a lot of new friends." Miles says glumly.

Sam snorts. "More like surrogate parents. Of that group only Annabelle is younger than I am, something that Leo just loves to rib me about since he is a tiny bit older."

"Ouch, talk about not getting away with anything. That sucks." Miles pulls out a napkin to make a paper airplane.

"Oh, I manage." Sam grins. "Epps is more like a cool older cousin, he sometimes helps. And the rest have things to do so they can't hover all the time."

"It's all good then. So this demonstration of your super secret project for college?" Miles wads up the napkin plane then smooths it out flat.

"Once you see it you can't tell anyone, period." Sam meets Miles' eyes directly for the first time, an old wary weary look shining out of them.

"Yeah, I understand." Miles nods softly. "After all it wouldn't be much of a surprise if I went and blabbed, and you want to impress your teacher without having anyone try to copy your ubber cool idea."

Sam relaxes. Miles might not be able to lie to those who know him but he does a bang up job of telling tall tales when given even the slightest bit of slack or encouragement. Their food comes in what seems like no time at all because of their chatter, remembering silly things they had done and catching up on what has been going on in their lives in general. It was a good meal, and they do swap food so Miles could try more things.

Everything remains calm and relaxed until they are back in the car. "So you know what I have in mind for a big reveal. No people, no government eyes in the sky, and no Decepticons with long range views of the action, think you can find a spot?"

Bumblebee plays the most innocent R2D2 sounds he can find to express agreement.

Miles twitches tensing up considerably. "Sam why is your car making droid noises?"

"Because he wants to." Sam smirks at the dashboard. "He likes to play sound clips and blurbs of songs to communicate, its fun most of the time. He used to have to do it all the time because his vocal thingy was damaged so badly it was taking a long time to heal."

"Satan's Camero." Miles whispers.

"Oh please, don't stroke his ego he is already full of it." Sam pokes the steering wheel playfully then pets it to show he is only teasing. "What 'it' is, I'm not sure yet."

~ I've got the power ~

"They are one and the same?" Miles blanches. "I didn't insult um, him, did I?"

"Nah, Mikaela did that quite well, that's why he went out and got the pretty new paint job." Sam grins at Bee.

"It's a bit more than a paint job, I mean the entire model year changed." Miles finally looks full at Sam incredulously.

Sam looks right back at him. "Made you look."

Miles' jaw drops. "What the hell man, eyes on the road your driving."

"No I'm not, Bumblebee is quite capable of driving himself." Sam stretches out putting his hands behind his head.

"Bumblebee?" Miles looks at Sam strangely.

"Hey I didn't name him, it's just the closest translation that he liked." Sam smirks. "I think he chose his original form partly because it was yellow and had that silly air freshener."

Miles tilts his head in thought then starts laughing. "The bee that said Bitchn' Camero on it, I remember that. I thought you had got that thing to brag about snagging a cool car."

"The coolest." Sam grins.

"Now who is stroking egos." Miles teases then squeaks when they bounce onto a dusty side road. "I was only kidding."

Sam chuckles. "I think he found a good spot to show off in."

"Oh." Miles says quietly.

"Miles you can still back out." Sam says quietly. "You know kind of what is going on, but you could still say we were just goofing off and telling stories to entertain ourselves like we used to."

"Yeah, it could all be a dream that would never come true." Miles stares at the symbol that Sam keeps rubbing. "Can he feel that?"

Sam stops. "You know, I actually don't know how much he feels when in his alt mode. Bumblebee?"

~ Every little move you make ~

"O-k-a-y" Miles tucks his hands into his lap. "How does it feel? I mean we are inside you."

There is a long pause, before Bumblebee responds directly. "Never really thought about it. Depending on our sizes we can and do give each other rides in much the same way. How does in feel when you pick up and carry a smaller person or pet?"

Miles thinks a moment. "I guess it depends on who it is and why we are picking them up."

~ Ding, ding, ding give the man a prize. ~

"Now I know why they accept your oddball self." Miles teases Sam.

They come to a stop at the entrance of a box canyon, its sides steep enough to hide Bumblebee's erect form. Even the view from above is partially obscured because there are several places that are undercut and some shrubs clinging to the top of the canyon walls.

"Last chance to stay off the radar Miles." Sam says, looking quickly away so he can't influence his friend's choice.

"We're bros man, and bros have each others backs - even if you did toss me out to give Her a ride. I can't have your back if I'm out of the loop." Miles says determinedly.

~ Friends through thick and thin ~

"Yep that's us." Miles chirps.

"Okay then I guess it's time the two of you meet properly." Sam climbs out of Bumblebee's alt mode and unloads his bags. "All out Miles, bags and all. The results if you don't make a blender look tame, and getting all the bit and pieces out is a pain."

Miles scrambles out clutching his things. "All clear."

"Work you magic Bumblebee." Sam pats the roof as he goes to join Miles.

The Camero rolls forward silently, not even kicking up any dust, until he is under one of the overhangs and initiates his transformation sequence at half speed.

Miles stares at the car turned robot for all of five seconds before squealing like an excited kid who had been let loose in a combination toy store and candy shop. "Bitchen, that is so not Japanese."

Sam laughs happily at his friend's positive reaction. "Just think he is one of the smaller Cybertronians you will encounter."

"Cybertronians?" Miles drops his things so he can walk around to see Bumblebee from all angles but that proves unnecessary as Bumblebee moves around posing. "Ham much?"

"Oh he is." Sam smiles at Bumblebee. "And Cybertronians are from Cybertron, rather obvious if you think about it. Bumblebee is a member of the Autobots, standing for autonomous robotic lifeforms. A single powerful mecha, not machine or robot, began to covet the power granted to another and led a revolt to claim what he saw as his right. They became known as Decepticons. Instead of allowing the enslavement of their own people, and the enslavement or destruction of any other race the Decepticons encountered, the Autobots fought back. The resistance infuriated the Decepticon leader, Megatron, who then instigated what we would call a scorched earth policy. In his madness to claim anything and everything that would grant him more power he didn't care if the ones he attacked were Autobot, neutral, or even Decepticon sympathizers, if they didn't bow to him and fight wearing his brand they were to be destroyed by any means necessary. Eventually all those who couldn't or wouldn't fight were dead or had fled, he decided to seize the one thing that had been considered sacrosanct. The All-Spark, which produced all the energy their planet needed as well as granting new sparks to sparkling shells that were brought to the temple."

"Sparks and sparklings?" Miles asks reverently.

"Their souls, glowing orbs of light which give them life and personality. Physical proof of the existence of what some humans have called the divine spark. And sparklings are their equivalent to babies, though some appear very much like adults from what I understand." Sam answers though he does look a Bumblebee after the last part.

Bumblebee transforms back into a Camero. "It is too hot out here for the two of you to be standing around for long and we have a long way to go."

The young men climb back into the car grateful of the cool shaded interior.

"This is one of the issues that caused many who would have remained neutral to join the Autobots instead of fleeing, Megatron had been placing sparks in 'adult' frames with specialized programs. There were mixed results, some seemed to function fine even if they were a bit naïve, others though couldn't handle it and in their confusion would become angry and violent. Then he started the war and we found out that he had installed coding in the adult frames that tried to force them to be loyal to him. For the most part it worked but again there were exceptions and side effects, most of those who fought it ended up with processor glitches and the stress on their systems meant they were susceptible to premature termination, things that normal mecha could survive became potentially fatal." Bumblebee rides low on his shocks out of sadness.

Sam nods in understanding. "The Cybertronian leader, who is chosen and marked by the All-Spark is called Prime, decided that it would be best if the All-Spark was removed from Megatron's grasp. Cybertron was already in ruins, all but the active fighting forces had left for safer outpost's, though even some of those were attacked by rogues, so they launched the All-Spark into space towards what we call a worm hole. It ended up here long before humans spread across the globe. Most of the remaining Cybertronians pursued in small groups, Leaving only a handful of each faction on or near their home to keep an eye on it and each other. Megatron some how got here first but still long after the All-Spark, he had some type of problem entering our atmosphere and ended up frozen in the arctic ice. That is what my great grand father found, in the process he activated some type of light based data dump. That data dump etched the All-Spark coordinates onto his glasses, blinded him, and tried to force the entirety of Megatron's memory core into great grandpa's mind leading to his insanity. The government had already found the All-Spark, they built Hoover Dam around it to hide it and still allow them to study it. When Megatron was retrieved from the ice some bright individual recognized the glyph's decorating his body as matching those on the All-Spark and decided to put the two in the same location."

"Oh that was bright." Miles mutters.

"It gets better. They figured out how to channel energy from the All-Spark into earth machines, but with Megatron so close by, with his repair systems trying continuously to wake him he influenced every machine they brought to life. They were insanely violent and attacked everything in sight which led to humans believing that the NBE's, non-biological entities, were dangerous." Sam snorts. "They were babies fully armed without any programming or mentors who were capable of communicating with them with some outside voice raging at them to kill, of course they panicked."

"Damn, you sure know how to fall in it bro." Miles mutters.

"Yeah, anyway the Prime and his team finally catch up. And just my luck I put those glasses on Ebay, instant giant alien magnet. Bumblebee here took to following me around, even going so far as sneaking into the used car lot where dad took me, hoping we would buy him, thereby making his job easier. Then he steals himself, I chase, he scares the living daylights out of me. The next day he chases me and I run into the opposition. Let me tell you, Decepticons are a lot more frightening in appearance and behavior. Michaela had seen me fleeing, including when I flipped Mom's bike, and wanted see if I was alright. She caught up with me about the time I was running for my life, that is how she got dragged into all this. Bumblebee saves us and we met the rest of the team and find out what was going on."

"Um, how did the All-park, Megatron, and the rest end up arriving at such different times?"

"Best we can figure out is that the wormhole was unstable."

"Ooh, like a time variant."

"Yes, except that the Autobots came the long way not through the wormhole. There have been other Cybertronians drawn to Earth through the age but when and why they each came we are still trying to piece together."

"I am assuming that the glasses some how led you to this All-Spark."

"Not me, that was the secret government department responsible for dealing with NBE's. Since the big bads were after me that led them right to Megatron and subsequently the All-Spark. They attack the dam, wake up Megs and chase us with the All-Spark all the way to Mission City. Lots of explosions, running, and threats of all types I shove the All-Spark into Megatron's spark through a damaged panel in his chest trying to kill him."

"Why would that kill him?"

"The All-Spark was the embodiment of pure energy, their sparks are pure energy. Just like two vehicles colliding both sustained catastrophic damage." Sam answers.

"Wouldn't there be differing levels of damage?" Miles looks confused.

"That is classified well beyond what I am willing to risk talking about in a casual setting." Sam turns to his friend seriously. "I trust you Miles, but there are secrets that belong to others wrapped up in this to, they have to trust you and be willing to share some of this with you at a later time. And a couple of the opposition's spies just might be able to hear me despite being inside a Cybertronian and moving, I would really rather not risk it."

"That sounds so weird." Miles complains.

"What does?"

"That we are inside him. Don't you think it's just a bit Freudian?" Miles whines at the strange look that Sam gives him. "You know we are wiggling around inside another person."

Sam cringes. "Dude don't go there today. I'm trying not to think about - things."

Bumblebee warbles in concern.

"I'll tell you Bee just not now, I need to be able to think about it without getting sick first." Sam shudders.

"Bro are you alright?"

"Besides being freaked to hell and back, yeah." Sam pets Bumblebee's steering wheel to comfort both himself and his guardian. "My fault Bumblebee, I wasn't paying any attention to my surroundings. Nothing happened, just a bit man-handled before the coach showed up."

"Sam," Bumblebee starts in with concern.

"I'll be alright just get us to the base so I can feel secure enough to have a freak out and maybe try my hand on the shooting range again." Sam smirks when Bumblebee twitches at his suggestion. "Yeah I know I'm seriously bad with any type gun in my hands but it is good stress relief, funny to, seeing all those military men and mecha diving for cover when I show up."

"He can't hit the broad side of a barn when he throws anything either." Miles adds helpfully.

"And that is why you will never see me attempt to use a flash bang or anything else of that nature, a bullet will travel in a straight direction away from me, something I throw is just as likely to land short and bounce back at me." Sam grouses while also poking fun at himself.

"NO grenades." Bumblebee orders sternly.

"Hey you wont get any arguments form me." Sam placates. "But you get to explain to Lennox and Ironhide why I am banned from those particular lessons." During the banter both Sam and Miles begin to yawn.

"Hey I'm getting sleepy, why don't you crawl in back to sleep and I'll take the passenger seat." Sam nudges his visibly slouching friend.

"Somebody needs to drive." Miles protests.

"Bee can create a hologram of a driver. Now scoot." Sam waits until Miles tumbles into the back and drifts off to sleep to glare at the dash. "Are you adding or removing anything from the atmosphere?"

"Very mild sedative, you are both showing signs of exhaustion." Bumblebee responds unrepentantly. "I have already stopped. As soon as you are asleep I will immerse myself in several tasks I have been putting off as well as conversing with our leader about various issues."

"You wouldn't be allowed on base with a uninformed individual riding along now that there is actually a formalized security team." Sam groans as he transfers to the passenger seat. "It would have been so much simpler if we had thought of this sooner. The only bright spot I can see is that your Chief of Security hasn't arrived yet. From what I have heard about Red Alert, trying to sneak another civilian onto base would cause hysterics."

Bumblebee's hologram nods. "He was one of the early adult framed experiments, before we knew to be prepared to patch the glitches that showed up."

"Megs is a jackass, but hey Red is still around so he must be a pretty strong soul, er spark." Sam tilts his seat back to relax lulled by the sound or Bumblebee's alt motor.

Bumblebee hums an agreement. "They all are, that made it this far."

Sam does not respond already deeply asleep.

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To be continued

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	5. Sneaking in Miles official chap 3

Meme Writing

By Tiara Light

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Chosen pairing: NA

Setting: Bayverse G1 fusion (basically bay's universe and G1 characters with an amalgam of looks) after Transformers movies 1 & 2. The third was in filming when I wrote these so these stories will not be compliant to it or any future movies.

Warning: Xeno, Male/non-gender species.

Disclaimer: I own nothing here within except the twisted oddly colored plot bunnies, and I make no money from the fan fiction.

[+] Indicates where added material begins.

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1) Stairway to Heaven

Sam sat on top of one of the hangers watching the Autobots he had grown close to greet several newcomers. Their movements were oddly choreographic, almost like a ritual dance. The patterns forming around Optimus Prime expanding and contracting in a way that was oddly familiar to Sam. [+]

Each time he watches this ritual the pattern becomes clearer. Optimus Prime at the center, an unmoving anchor shifting only his upper body to acknowledge those mechs who paused in front of him. The elder 'Bots of the original team and those who arrived later who were officers forming a slowly moving perimeter around their leader. Bumblebee, Arcee, and the smarter twin weaving through the perimeter and outward, in the opposite direction, to guide the various new 'Bots around the NEST compound so they could learn about their allies and their new planet. There was a jarring gap in the pattern where Sam was sure Jazz was supposed to be. The handful of previously arrived 'Bots that were stationed at NEST formed clusters around the perimeter, that the newly arrived join after their initial tour, these clusters almost look geometric or like symbols.

Sam jerks into full awareness as he finally recognizes the patterns are Cybertronian glyphs that the mechs below are seemingly following unconsciously. He doesn't know what they mean but they stir an odd flutter deep within his being, terrifyingly familiar but different and deeper than any of the other occurrences that now marked him as different. Something must have registered with his friends, because both Bumblebee and Ratchet separate from the pattern heading in his direction. Several of the other mechs look towards him as well; even Optimus turns to watch what is happening, concern evident in all of their postures. Sam blushes under the scrutiny, feeling guilty for interrupting something so important and beautiful.

Bumblebee reaches Sam first, scooping him up and holding him protectively to his chest while glaring at Rachet.

"Bumblebee." Ratchet says warningly. "We are all fond of Sam, you know this, none of us would do anything to cause him pain. I am quite aware of the fluctuating power signals he produces; they have been increasingly hard to miss. We had hoped that Sam would be able to complete his college education on campus before they became disruptive. Now you WILL allow me to escort Sam to Med-Bay either without a fuss so you can come with us with, and promise not to interfere, or you will be confined to quarters for insubordination."

* I'll be there - * Bumblebee plays over the radio as he looks at Sam.

Sam grits his teeth in frustration. "Ratchet will you just trust me when I say it will keep until you're finished greeting the new arrivals."

Ratchet gives Sam a long considering look. "Yes I believe you, but I am rather board with just shuffling around looking pretty so you are the perfect excuse for me to make good an escape. Believe me if Prime could find an equally believable alibi he wouldn't be out there either."

Sam huffs. "What do the glyphs worked into the greeting pattern mean?"

Ratchet clips the corner of one hanger with his shoulder when he spins around to stare at Sam. "Impossible."

"Hey, me being alive is impossible." Sam pats Bumblebee's face when the 'Bot pulls him close warbling in distress. "Sorry Bumblebee, I didn't mean it that way. I am alive and happy, it's just between the All-spark lighting up my world and the slag the matrix pulled, I am starting to rethink my definition of impossible."

"That does it, I am giving you a full health check." Ratchet growls. "No more putting it off, or pretending nothing is wrong. And when I say full I mean every test I and the science mecha can give you without harm."

Sam gapes at him. "But I AM Fine. Just because I can tell the difference between a Cybertronian glyph from an Earth one doesn't mean there is a problem."

"I will be the judge of that." Ratchet gets a firm grip on one of Bumblebee's shoulders. "Med-Bay, Now."

Sam and Bumblebee look at each other. "Busted."

Ratchet stalks towards his Med-bay pulling Bumblebee along with him. "Busted implies you were expecting to be caught."

"Not really." Sam shrugs at the look Ratchet gives him. "I just really dislike being poked, prodded, and asked repetitive questions for hours on end. I had to put up with that from my fellow humans twice now already. They didn't find anything and I certainly wasn't going to suddenly change my answers just because they asked the same question multiple times."

"They either didn't trust your answers to be complete and honest or they were hoping that going over the information more than once would help you remember more." Ratchet grumbles at the thought of the humans interfering with what he felt was his territory.

"They would be right." Sam winces at the glare Rachet aims at him. "Do you really want me to try to explain the Dynasty of Primes to a bunch of humans who have little or no experience with anything they can't quantify scientifically?"

"They do not need to know that." Ratchet relaxes his stance a little.

"Precisely, the best we could hope for would be me winding up like me great grandfather - in and insane asylum or something far worse - dissected like the experiments of Sector 7 were." Sam looks nauseous. "No thanks."

"I find myself beginning to agree with the Decepticon viewpoint when dealing with some humans." Ratchet releases Bumblebee once they arrive at the workstation he had specifically adapted for human patients. "Strip and onto the bed."

"What? Hey, no, that's so not cool dude." Sam clings to Bumblebee's hand.

"No need to be shy, it is not like I will be interested in staring at your pink flesh." Ratchet comments in an offhand manner.

"Oh really, that's not what Bumblebee told me." Sam smirks at Ratchet. "The way he explained it Cybertronians connect our clothes with their armor and you don't hear me asking to stare at your protoform. Ironhide further informed me that due to long-term exposure to a wide variety of other species Cybertronians do not have species boundaries when admiring other races' forms. In fact everyone who invited themselves into the conversation agreed that certain 'bots like the differences and are always extremely curious."

"Bumblebee." Ratchet growls.

*Hang on Sloopy, hang on -* "I did not tell him that, just about the clothing and protoforms." Bumblebee quickly defends himself.

"Oh really, then who did?" Ratchet looks Bumblebee directly in the optics.

"I think it was Optimus who started the explantion." Sam puts in to rescue his friend from Ratchet's scrutiny. "Though Ironhide is the one who ratted out a whole list of mechs that fit that description."

"Did the rusty aft name himself in that list." Ratchet glares in the direction of the rest of the Autobots.

"He said he didn't mind the idea." Sam shrugs grinning. "While I'm not a phobic or anything, I am not ready to even think in those terms." He snorts. "I haven't even gotten comfortable with myself or girls yet."

"I still would prefer my scans to be as clear of much extraneous material as possible." Ratchet finally settles into a completely professional stance.

Sam sighs and releases his strangle hold on Bumblebee's finger. "Oh alright if you insist, but just remember I am on good terms with the base pranksters."

"Is that supposed to mean something to me, I assure you I am quite capable of avoiding their sparkling attempts at humor." Ratchet responds glaring at the innocent smile on Sam's face.

"That is what Ironhide said when he embarrassed me with his rather elaborate and colorful description of interspecies relations." Sam says as he slowly and methodically removes his clothing, folding up each article as he goes.

"Now you are just teasing me." Ratchet accuses.

Sam smiles at the medic. "Sorry Ratchet but it is so rare that us humans get a chance to have any advantage over our big smart Cybertronian friends that I didn't even try to resist the temptation."

"Of course you didn't." Ratchet gently pokes at Sam with one digit.

Sam steps back and ends up sitting down abruptly on the human exam table. "Hey watch where you point that thing."

Ratchet leans down eyeball to optic with Sam. "Hold very still or we will do this the army way."

Sam holds as still as he can until Ratchet is finished with his scan. "Oh, you're so big, strong, and forceful." He flutters his eyes exaggeratedly.

Ratchet vents in amused exasperation. "Out, I need peace to study the results. Be back here tomorrow after you eat for your lesson, I will be scanning you before every lesson so we can see if there is a pattern to your energy readings."

Sam groans. "Yes Ratchet."

Sam scrambles back into his clothes. He and Bumblebee beat a hasty retreat from the Med-bay while Ratchet is muttering from behind the cubicle workstation that he calls his office.

- End Chapter 1 -

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